Adjusting

Every time I move, I underestimate how difficult it’ll be for me to adjust.

I’m in a new city, and after two months I don’t know it as well as I think I should. I haven’t been meeting people as easily as I think I could. I think that both are related to the fact that I feel very dependent.

I’m a very strong and independent person. I like to do my own thing in my own way, all the time. Relationships have always made me feel like I’m being overshadowed. I always seem to lose myself as I let the person who’s supposed to be my partner take over. I don’t pay attention to my surroundings, and I don’t try very hard to meet people because I expect my partner to handle my life for me. I don’t really know how to be in a normal relationship.

I was made for long-distance relationships. It’s the only way I can have it both ways — keep someone in my life all the time (on the phone and online) while still maintaining all of my personal space and, thus, my personality.

I can’t ever be happy with a full-time relationship because I never really had one while I was growing up, so now it just makes me uncomfortable. Your relationships should be comfortable. So, I try and I try and I try to break out of my comfort zone to achieve the norm, but who says the norm is for me?

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