i think that maybe
it’d be a good idea if i took a break,
a vacation even from my friends,
just me and max somewhere random
in a place where we don’t know anyone,
maybe for a week or two.
when i try too hard to help too many people,
i do it at my own expense.
i function best in survival mode.
i don’t know how to snap out of survival mode.
i know, intellectually, that i don’t have to live this way.
it is so easy for me to see someone experiencing homelessness
and to immediately think of fifteen-year-old me, on the street
with nowhere to go, and no one to help.
the only people who will take you in when you’re young and homeless are men who want to have sex with you.
i keep on keeping on,
and i’m tired.