It’s been a while since I’ve come up with a recipe. Lately I’ve been obsessed with bacon. I made a delicious spinach mac ‘n cheese dish last week that substituted macaroni with cauliflower. And what made it especially delicious was the bacon I added on top.
You can find that one out on the interwebs somewhere, but that’s not what I’m making tonight. Tonight I’m going to attempt bacon pancakes. Maybe even bacon peanut butter chip pancakes. For dinner. Because YOLO.
1 cup milk
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 and a half cups of flour
1 tablespoon baking soda
1 clean diaper
powdered sugar, as desired
a teensy bit of vanilla extract
peanut butter chips
syrup (or a corner store)
beer (note: this doesn’t go in the pancakes)
- I started with the buttermilk. I didn’t have any buttermilk because who buys buttermilk? So I knew Google would have a solution for me. And she sure did.
- Does it still count as a recipe if I write it in blog form but with numbers?
- I poured a cup of milk into a measuring cup (that’s how I knew it was a cup…), and I added a teaspoon of lemon juice. As per these instructions.
- I let my homemade buttermilk sit while I oiled a pan and slapped my bacon strips on it. I started preheating the oven to 400 degrees, and then I went to change a diaper.
- If you just changed a diaper, please wash your hands.
- I poured the milk into a bowl, added flour, a tablespoon of baking soda, and an egg. I mixed that up and then dropped in a bit of vanilla extract and maybe three teaspoons of powdered sugar.
- At this point, I googled “best fluffiest pancake recipe” to see if there was anything else I should add to make my pancakes better and fluffier, and the secret ingredient was melted butter.
- Melt 3 tablespoons of butter, and add it to your pancake mixture.
- This might be a good time to figure out if you even have any syrup.
- You don’t.
- Put your bacon in the oven, put pants on your toddler, and run to the corner store.
- You bought beer, didn’t you?
- I hope it was the good stuff, girl, you deserve it.
- Or guy, I’m not sexist.
- Or other gender nonconforming individual, I’m not ignorant.
- Pour in peanut butter chips.
- Your bacon still isn’t ready, so crack open a beer.
- Turn off the fire alarm. That thing is so sensitive.
- Take out your recyclables. You can’t move forward until the bacon is done.
- Turn off the fire alarm again. It’s the other room this time.
- Take a selfie.
- Bacon is ready!
- Allow your lieutenant kitchen deputy to taste test the bacon.
- Surprise, surprise – bacon passes.
- Break the bacon up into bits and throw it into your pancake mixture.
- Your pan should still be pretty drenched in butter. If not, proceed to drench.
- Your kid is so cute – he’s singing along to “Eye of the Tiger.”
- No wait, that’s my kid. Maybe your next one will be as adorable as mine.
- While you were here bragging, your kid got into the flour.
- You’re a mean mom because you took the flour away.
- Now he needs a hug.
- Are you going to just die if you hear that fire alarm again? Just me?
- Beer, Jessica. Beer.
- Max and I have a “whoa whoa whoa” playlist now. He likes to sing along to songs that he can say “whoa whoa whoa” in. This is a surprising number of songs.
- Oh, you can start making your pancakes now.
I know what you’re thinking: “Why didn’t you just give me the cheesy spinach cauliflower recipe? I would never feed my kids pancakes for dinner!” And to that I say: at least we brushed our teeth afterwards?
(i have a hilarious video to include here, but it’s an unsupported file type so your loss)